Blessing!
Today’s Uplift: Displaced Anger. Am I describing you? Recently I was doing some miscellaneous shopping with my little grandson and I saw a mother correcting her little son. He was at an age where he defiantly knew better. He was at an age where public correction was embarrassing. As that mother left him alone with his younger sibling he started to hit the smaller child. Now as I am watching this I thought to myself…. Umm this is the same thing some adults do when they are angry at someone else and they can’t do anything to that person who caused their anger.
Of course I had to write about it! This is called “Displaced Anger” We read and see people do this all of the time. They start lashing out at family members and wonder why they are behaving this way. This is normal behavior and we all tend to do this on occasion. When we’re frustrated or angry at someone but take it out on others, we’ve engaged a psychological defense mechanism called “displacement. The best example of this is an employee who has a problem with a boss at work and goes home and takes it out on the family or the helpless family dog. Can you imagine how I hope this is not you that I am describing! Those of us in Christ should not be exhibiting this kind of behavior. But if you are… guess what? You have an advocate who goes before the throne interceding for you. Romans 8:34 “Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us
Technically, displacement is defined as “the redirection of aggression onto a powerless substitute target.” The innocent targets shake their heads and wonder, why are you mad at me? Displacement redirects your emotions away from someone you fear or has power over you onto someone you don’t fear and has no power over you.
So the next time someone close to you lashes out for no good reason, there’s a good chance that it’s not you they’re upset with. You’re likely just a replacement punching bag for another person; you’re a much safer target to hit. When a person becomes a Christian, his conduct and personality should undergo certain changes. One of those changes has to do with temper/anger. A Christian should react in a Christian way. He should not lose his temper and use displaced anger. Proverbs 15:18 says “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention”.
When anger is out of control, it does great damage. When we become so angry that we want to lash out at someone and hurt them, we are sinning deeply. We call this "losing our temper." Sometimes we think that we show how strong we are when we lose our temper, but losing our temper is a sign of weakness, not strength. The Bible says, “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:9
To suppress anger is to keep it inside. Some people lose their temper and express their anger openly. Others have the same angry feelings but manage to keep them bottled up inside and then lash out at someone they love for no reason. Anger that is bottled up or kept inside of us hurts and keeps on hurting. It turns to resentment and bitterness, and it can bring on depression as well as many kinds of physical illnesses.
The best way to handle angry feelings is to tell God about them. This is a way to "let off steam" without sinning. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and we will always find Him to be understanding. Just being in God's presence helps to calm us. It also helps us to see things in their proper perspective. Many times we discover that the thing we were disturbed about was not really so important after all. Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
When we lose our temper, there is but one thing to do. We must confess it to God as sin and claim the cleansing blood of Christ. If we have offended or hurt others, we must, of course, apologize to them. Regardless of how many times you lose your temper, you must make things right with others each time. This will humble you and help you to see the damage done by your temper. I John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness
It is best not to go to the other person while you are still upset, but after you have calmed down, go and make things right.
God wants us to see that in Christ we died to our old life. We are not the same person we were before. We are "a new creation" IN CHRIST. We do not have to give in to our old sins. We died to all our sins, including the sin of temper. The Bible says, "How shall we who died to sin [including sinful temper] live any longer in it?"
Romans 6:2. Unless we see the seriousness of our temper and determine to be delivered from it, we will not overcome it. If we are satisfied to go on as we have been going, we will know nothing of God's victory over the sin of temper and displaced anger.
It is very easy to excuse ourselves by blaming someone else for our temper. We say, "If so-and-so had not spoken to me like that, I would not have lost my temper." In other words, we think that our temper is an external problem—that it is caused by something from without. The fact is that temper is an internal problem. Temper comes from within us, not from without. Others may say or do things that irritate me, but no one can make me lose my temper except me. And no one can make me take it out on someone I love except me!
The world says, "Look out for yourself," but Jesus says, "Deny yourself." We will never control our temper until we give up our way and choose God's way. He wants us to learn to be patient and self-denying, gladly letting God have His own way in our life. When you feel like you want to lose your temper or act out you can pray, "Lord, You know that I need to learn patience. You are in control of my circumstances. Thank you for loving me so much that you trust me in this situation. I will be patient and loving towards others."
When others do not do what you want them to do and you cannot have your own way, this is your chance to die to SELF. You can pray, "Lord, I always want to have my own way, but you know what is best for me. I accept your way because your ways are much higher than mine."
Over comer, don’t let your anger manifest out at others. Some one penned “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured”.
Be Optimistic; Be Open Minded; Be an Over comer!!
Love P.
Today’s Uplift: Displaced Anger. Am I describing you? Recently I was doing some miscellaneous shopping with my little grandson and I saw a mother correcting her little son. He was at an age where he defiantly knew better. He was at an age where public correction was embarrassing. As that mother left him alone with his younger sibling he started to hit the smaller child. Now as I am watching this I thought to myself…. Umm this is the same thing some adults do when they are angry at someone else and they can’t do anything to that person who caused their anger.
Of course I had to write about it! This is called “Displaced Anger” We read and see people do this all of the time. They start lashing out at family members and wonder why they are behaving this way. This is normal behavior and we all tend to do this on occasion. When we’re frustrated or angry at someone but take it out on others, we’ve engaged a psychological defense mechanism called “displacement. The best example of this is an employee who has a problem with a boss at work and goes home and takes it out on the family or the helpless family dog. Can you imagine how I hope this is not you that I am describing! Those of us in Christ should not be exhibiting this kind of behavior. But if you are… guess what? You have an advocate who goes before the throne interceding for you. Romans 8:34 “Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us
Technically, displacement is defined as “the redirection of aggression onto a powerless substitute target.” The innocent targets shake their heads and wonder, why are you mad at me? Displacement redirects your emotions away from someone you fear or has power over you onto someone you don’t fear and has no power over you.
So the next time someone close to you lashes out for no good reason, there’s a good chance that it’s not you they’re upset with. You’re likely just a replacement punching bag for another person; you’re a much safer target to hit. When a person becomes a Christian, his conduct and personality should undergo certain changes. One of those changes has to do with temper/anger. A Christian should react in a Christian way. He should not lose his temper and use displaced anger. Proverbs 15:18 says “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention”.
When anger is out of control, it does great damage. When we become so angry that we want to lash out at someone and hurt them, we are sinning deeply. We call this "losing our temper." Sometimes we think that we show how strong we are when we lose our temper, but losing our temper is a sign of weakness, not strength. The Bible says, “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:9
To suppress anger is to keep it inside. Some people lose their temper and express their anger openly. Others have the same angry feelings but manage to keep them bottled up inside and then lash out at someone they love for no reason. Anger that is bottled up or kept inside of us hurts and keeps on hurting. It turns to resentment and bitterness, and it can bring on depression as well as many kinds of physical illnesses.
The best way to handle angry feelings is to tell God about them. This is a way to "let off steam" without sinning. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and we will always find Him to be understanding. Just being in God's presence helps to calm us. It also helps us to see things in their proper perspective. Many times we discover that the thing we were disturbed about was not really so important after all. Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
When we lose our temper, there is but one thing to do. We must confess it to God as sin and claim the cleansing blood of Christ. If we have offended or hurt others, we must, of course, apologize to them. Regardless of how many times you lose your temper, you must make things right with others each time. This will humble you and help you to see the damage done by your temper. I John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness
It is best not to go to the other person while you are still upset, but after you have calmed down, go and make things right.
God wants us to see that in Christ we died to our old life. We are not the same person we were before. We are "a new creation" IN CHRIST. We do not have to give in to our old sins. We died to all our sins, including the sin of temper. The Bible says, "How shall we who died to sin [including sinful temper] live any longer in it?"
Romans 6:2. Unless we see the seriousness of our temper and determine to be delivered from it, we will not overcome it. If we are satisfied to go on as we have been going, we will know nothing of God's victory over the sin of temper and displaced anger.
It is very easy to excuse ourselves by blaming someone else for our temper. We say, "If so-and-so had not spoken to me like that, I would not have lost my temper." In other words, we think that our temper is an external problem—that it is caused by something from without. The fact is that temper is an internal problem. Temper comes from within us, not from without. Others may say or do things that irritate me, but no one can make me lose my temper except me. And no one can make me take it out on someone I love except me!
The world says, "Look out for yourself," but Jesus says, "Deny yourself." We will never control our temper until we give up our way and choose God's way. He wants us to learn to be patient and self-denying, gladly letting God have His own way in our life. When you feel like you want to lose your temper or act out you can pray, "Lord, You know that I need to learn patience. You are in control of my circumstances. Thank you for loving me so much that you trust me in this situation. I will be patient and loving towards others."
When others do not do what you want them to do and you cannot have your own way, this is your chance to die to SELF. You can pray, "Lord, I always want to have my own way, but you know what is best for me. I accept your way because your ways are much higher than mine."
Over comer, don’t let your anger manifest out at others. Some one penned “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured”.
Be Optimistic; Be Open Minded; Be an Over comer!!
Love P.